is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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