Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize