whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
