She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
