i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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