what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
