erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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