She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
