You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize