I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
