I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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