Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
