Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Are my feet made of real feet?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
