If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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