My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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