Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she peed on how many people?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
