Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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