You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
