So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
