Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize