were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
