When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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