when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
