I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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