It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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