I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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