i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize