PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
