i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
