that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
