Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got inside last night via doggy door
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
