dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
