so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
