He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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