Michael Bay diarrhea
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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