wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
