It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
