Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
