bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
