...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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