i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They took my balls.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
