he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
