Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
