and she was petting her beer can
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
