your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
