i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
