i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
