im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
