Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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