i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
