Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she pinky promised me she was 18
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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