i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
