once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
