He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
