I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize