Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize