Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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