i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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