The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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