I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
