Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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