Sry I called you an 8
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
