Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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