Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
