Where is the hickey?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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