So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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