belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
